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The Ancient Greeks saw this as the highest plane of love. From the security of having been loved as a baby and child, from loving oneself and being confident that one is lovable, and from having a mature love for another adult comes the ultimate – the maturity of love that enables an individual to extend all these feelings to mankind in general. This is no longer an adolescent ‘change the world’ form of love but one forged from the experience that life cannot and will not go the way you want it to; that everyone has their rights and points of view; and that yours have to fit in with those around you. At this stage you can love those that persecute you; you can turn the other cheek and no longer retire hurt or angry when the world refuses to go your way. Such love is the Christian love of the New Testament in which one loves one’s neighbour as oneself. People in this stage of love really do change the world and contribute to it. The mature adult at this stage expresses his or her general love in specific ways – often with powerful effects.

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Western women spend millions of pounds and hours in removing hair they believe to be unsightly. Hair on the upper lip, on the limbs, around the nipples and up the abdomen and extensions of the pubic hair to the top of the thighs are all common but sometimes unwelcome. Men and women have about the same number of hairs – the real difference is in the type of hair at different locations and its visibility. Hairiness in women is occasionally the sign of the presence of disease but is mainly genetic in origin. Some men prefer hairy women and claim they are more sexy than others. Apart from electrolysis or periodic plucking of unwanted hairs, shaving is probably as good a solution as any for these women who are upset by the hair. Chemical depilatories are also very widely used. Indeed, female body hair removal is a

multi-million pound business.

Monthly check-up-Most women are understandably afraid of contracting breast cancer and it makes sense to detect a breast lump as early as possible so that it can be treated. It is best to feel your breasts for lumps regularly each month using the same routine a day or two after your period has stopped. Get to know how your breasts feel during other times of your menstrual cycle too and always report any suspicious lumps to your doctor. A delay could make treatment more difficult.

If you have an IUD pop a finger into your vagina each month the day your period stops to check that the tail of the device is still coming out of the cervix. If you can’t feel it, take other contraceptive precautions and see your doctor at once to have a new one put in if necessary.

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The clients of prostitutes are said to come from all walks of life but increasingly come from the older segment of the community because free sex, it is said, is more easily available to the young today than in the past. Older men, especially if they are concerned with their respectability, are often unwilling to make advances to women of their acquaintance and may be happier to patronise prostitutes. Older husbands are more likely to be sexually bored with their partner than are younger men and are often less willing to run the risks of emotional entanglement with a non-prostitute. Men with more ‘deviant’ needs, with physical handicaps, or with a penis they regard as unusually small, may all be more attracted to prostitutes rather than face rejection, or exposure, by a non-prostitute. If you are paying the woman (they argue) she cannot refuse you. This is not in fact true and prostitutes will refuse clients with whom they do not feel safe or who do not fulfil other criteria.

Because prostitutes are available in all age groups and in all variations of body-form and colour, the patron of prostitutes can choose what he wants, as opposed to picking from what happens to be available in the non-prostitute population he meets. Some men who have been reared to believe that sex is unacceptably sinful can only get normal sexual pleasure when with a prostitute and some men who are emotionally immature may prefer prostitutes to other women.

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This is the second most common of the ‘real’ venereal or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). It is in sharp decline due to the AIDS scare leading to safer sex in homosexuals and to a lesser extent in others.

Gonorrhoea is caused by a germ called a gonococcus which is mainly transmitted by sexual intercourse. It is possible to catch the disease via infected towels and other household items and this is the way babies and young children sometimes catch it. The bacteria grow in and on the sexual organs but they can also grow in the throat (after oral sex) and rectum (after anal sex). Homosexual men are very likely to get gonorrhoea. If you have sex with someone who has the disease you stand a 70 per cent chance of getting it, but the risk is greatly reduced if the man wears a condom. If a man urinates immediately after intercourse with an infected woman he stands a fair chance of escaping infection.

The symptoms differ considerably in the two sexes. In men they are usually fairly obvious. A few days after intercourse with an affected woman or man the man has a severe burning pain when passing urine and then develops a yellow discharge of pus from the penis. These symptoms must be taken seriously, so go to your doctor or local clinic at the hospital at once. Early treatment will not only cure the disease and stop it spreading to anyone else but will also prevent longterm complications of the disease, such as eye trouble, arthritis, painful swelling of the testes, or a narrowing of the urethra (urinary passage).

Unfortunately, as many as half of all women with the disease have no symptoms and as a result may infect others unknowingly. This is why gonorrhoea is such a widespread disease and is so difficult to eradicate. Others get the same sort of symptoms as men but the gonorrhoea also affects the fallopian tubes and ovaries. These can also become inflamed and produce lower abdominal pain, fever, menstrual irregularities and a vaginal discharge. Later still the fallopian tubes may become blocked off and the woman is then infertile.

Treatment is relatively simple and effective and if started early prevents the long-term effects we have outlined. It is really best to go to an STD clinic or to your doctor if you have any suspicion that you have this disease or if you have had intercourse with someone you suspect could have it. Simply ring your local hospital and ask for the; ‘Special Clinic’. Such clinics maintain absolute secrecy and discretion, and your partner or parents (if you are a teenager) will never be contacted without your permission. There is no need to give a false name as many young people do. If you have any symptoms that could be gonorrhoea, don’t have sex of any kind until you have been checked over by a doctor. Almost every infection caught early can be cured.

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Are pets any help?

Yes. By having pets and watching them mate and have their young, children of all ages can learn a great deal about sex in a gentle, natural way. Of course, watching rabbits teaches nothing about human inter-relationships but it helps get the plumbing sorted out in their minds and this in itself is a help. Research shows that country children are much more at ease with physical sexuality and that this is probably because their experience of animal sex has made them see the whole thing as natural and normal, which it is.

How useful are books for children?

That depends on the book and the child. Some children are happier to learn from books than from adults, so for them a good book can be just the job. There are lots of good books around for children of all ages, but be sure to read any book first so that you know what your children are learning. If there are things you do not like about the sex-education books they use at school, take up the subject with the head teacher. There are books available for parents to read with their children and this can be a very good way of handling the subject.

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