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OUR MARITAL HEALTH/OWNING AND OPERATING YOUR OWN SEX CLINIC: FINDING OUT WHO’S THE MATTER WITH US – SEXUAL PROBLEMS AT HOT TIMES IN YOUR LIFE
At those times when we are running “hot,” when we are feeling hostile, impatient, competitive, and suffering from “hurry illness, “we are in a phase of what I call maladaptive hyperarousal. My interviews indicated that asking about how people were “running” in this regard led to more information than asking how their genitals were working. In “diagnosing” your sexual relationship, ask first if the two of you seem on a “hot” cycle of personal and marital pressure: excessive responsibilities, and feelings of too much to do in too little time, of hyperreaction and agitation.
If you are running hot, your neurohormonal system runs hot too, and the biochemistry of your sexual system interferes with your natural sexual reflex system. These are the hot problems that might result:
MALE
Seminal seepage (losing ejaculate without contractions)
Hyperarousal
Ejaculatory urgency (feelings of not being able to control pelvic contractions)
Shortening of refractory period
Absence of psychasms
Diminished afterglow
Hypersensitivity of F- and/or and R-area response
Diminished contemplation
Pelvic reflex addiction or maladaptive hypersexuality (loss of intimacy)
Skene’s glands or urinary emission without contractions
Hyperarousal
“Emission” urgency (feeling of not being able to control pelvic contractions)
Shortening of refractory period
Absence of psychasms
Diminished afterglow
Hypersensitivity of G- and/or C-area response
Diminished contemplation
Pelvic reflex addiction or maladaptive hypersexuality (loss of intimacy)
All of these “hot” problems are natural responses to daily living styles. There is no reference to lack of orgasm or psychasm in intercourse because the couples reported that coital orgasm was not a major concern. They learned to focus on their feelings and interactions in the general sexual relationship and the interaction between sex and living. They were trying to learn “who,” not “what” was the matter with their sexual life.
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