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SEX AND SEXUALITY AT THE MENOPAUSE: LOSS OF LIBIDO

Social causes. One of the social factors that contributes to sexual problems is alcohol; it affects a man’s ability to achieve and maintain an erection, and a woman’s ability to produce enough lubrication. Many older men and women drink much more than they did in their youth.

Another is the lack of a sexual partner due to death, divorce or separation, and the decreasing opportunities to find another as you get older. Most older women would be restrained by their upbringing from seeking a sexual partner other than within a fairly permanent relationship. One way in which many women choose to keep their sexual interest alive is by masturbation. Some religions do still prohibit it, but contrary to traditional church and public-school thinking, masturbation does not make you either blind or mad, nor is it unnatural, degrading or a form of ‘beastliness’. It certainly isn’t something you should feel guilty about. During the course of their lives, most people masturbate; and although men do it more than women, and younger people more than older people, there is nothing abnormal or unnatural about masturbation at any age. Many women feel it is no more or less satisfying than having sex with a partner, just different. In fact, for women who are unable for any reason to have sexual relations now but who feel they might want to in the future, it is a good way of keeping their ’sexual apparatus’ functioning well, by maintaining their sexual responsiveness, by producing regular vaginal lubrication with mucus, and by keeping the necessary muscles in good working order. Sexual pleasure is closely linked with how well your vagina is working – a case of ‘use it or lose it’; so if you feel that masturbation is right for you, then don’t stifle this natural urge.

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